Consider the Consequences

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on March 19, 2010 by James Jones

            Before we pursue anything, it is wise to consider what our actions will cost ourselves and others.  It is easy to get caught up in a moment of desire, to get swept up in a moment of frenzy, or to be nonchalant about how we live each day.  Living life purposefully and thoughtfully is not the easiest or the popular thing to do.  However, no matter what we do, there are consequences to our actions.  Even if we are unaware of the immediate ramifications, God informs us that there will be eternal consequences, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad (2 Cor 5:10, NIV).” 

             It is easy to lose sight of living purposefully and thoughtfully when our emotions run rampant.  How many poor choices are made in an effort to win an argument that was really not worth the cost?  A lot of hurtful words have been said just to be able to prove one’s self right, only to do potentially lasting damage to some of the best relationships.  How many people are overlooked due to living in the pursuit of pleasure?  Do you think Tiger Woods or Jesse James thought they would face the kind of scandal or media attention regarding the wreckless and hurtful choices they made?  How many people are infected with diseases because of living life based on passion without consideration of consequences?  Take the time to talk to people who have to live the rest of their lives on antiretroviral medications because of HIV.  Their lives will never be normal again. 

             Take the time to read 2 Samuel 11-12 in consideration of making choices without considering the consequences.  King David loved the Lord, but he did not always make decisions based on that love.  His decisions changed his life, and left heartache and turmoil for the remainder of his life, and that of his children.  He never imagined the fallout that would occur after following his passion instead of living life based on love and righteousness.  David’s actions resulted in his conspiracy to murder a man, witness the death of his newborn baby, and have conflict and bloodshed among his children throughout the rest of his days.

             We cannot always foresee negative consequences.  That is why it is important to make the law of God our guide for life.  Trusting His ways will help us live purposefully and thoughtfully in what is best for everyone.  In Galatians 5:6-10, Paul recorded information that will be true until the Lord returns.  May it help us all to live life in a way that will consider the consequences, and make choices based on what is best for others, in light of God’s word.  “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (Gal 6:7-10).”

 

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Pictures Over Which I Ponder

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on March 18, 2010 by James Jones

Art appeals to me. Is it because I like to draw, or do I draw because I like art?

Anyway, I wanted to share 3 pictures that keep me coming back to just stare, think, be in awe, and think some more.  Maybe you will like them, too.

 

This a picture of the Flash by Alex Ross.  The color, detail, and motion leave me in awe.  Pure and simple, I just like it.  Nothing too deep about that!

If this picture does not provoke thought, I do not know of much that will.  In a day and age where we use our freedom of speech to justify derogotory language and behavior about our elected officials, how many of us would actually walk a mile with our enemies, much less carry their burdens?  If we cannot be faithful in the little things,do we believe we can be faithful in the big stuff — “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much (Luke 16:10, NIV).”

This is my all time favorite picture, and I also have it hanging in my office.  I cannot look at it without thanking Jesus for His great love and patience.

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Just How Far Should I Go To Love My Daughter?

Posted in Uncategorized on March 17, 2010 by James Jones

 

Okay, this is a very personal and heavy post – you have been warned.

 Every day I wake up, I feel like a failure when it comes to the parenting of one of my children.  People that know us know we have had difficulties, and we have tried all sorts of methods and have had tons of advice given to us about how to correct the negative behavior.

One of our children has difficulties with impulse control and serious temper issues.   After tests performed at Emory University, there are medical reasons that contribute to her behavior.  I did not want her to be seen by a behavior specialist because I was afraid of experimenting with different medicines.  Advice we received from friends, programs, and books ranged from trying time-out to a flat out “beat her”!  We have restrained, done sentences, tried programs, etc.  You name it, we have probably tried it.  As our children have grown, I have become distant to our daughter and I have almost accepted I cannot help her.  I barely get a hug, much less an “I love you” from her anymore.  I had almost gotten to the point that every time I look at her I am reminded of how I have failed.

Obviously, there are a lot of details pertaining to her behavior and what we have tried that I am leaving out.  That is not the point of this post.

The point of this post is a challenge to me to love my daughter no matter what – and to give her the evidence she needs to believe it.  I have gotten tired of trying to show her, and to just give her what she wants, and not always what she needs.  I gave in and started reacting instead of parenting. 

After reading The Five Love Languages for Children, I realize I have not been giving her what she needs.  Most of what I tell my daughter is important and true, but I have not paid attention to, nor wanted to give, what she needs.  My expectations have been it should be easier than this.  It is not fair that it has to be this hard!!!!  I have grown jealous and resentful, and I did not like that.

I have been slowly trying to invest in my daughter according to her needs.  I have seen some improvements in our relationship lately.  She has hugged me a bit more, and let me tuck her in at night.  Not always, but she has welcomed it more.

My daughter recently spent a week with me doing a LOT of driving.  The lack of sleep, missing her mother, and motion sickness did not help the neurological difficulties that contribute to her challenges.  Anyway, one night we were traveling to another destination for a 7 hour drive.  She woke up in a fury, and started calling names, throwing things, punching, etc.  I was afraid we would wreck, so I pulled over on the side of the interstate at 1 AM.  That made things worse, but I never raised my voice, I never made threats, and I went around the car and gently pulled her out and locked the car.  She needed time to cool off and ‘wake up’ so to speak.   When she has these episodes, I know she is not always cognizant of all she is doing.  It has now become a bad habit that is going to take time to correct.  I have been working on how I respond to her when she gets like this – I want to be gentle and not react regardless of what she does.  And, let me tell you that ‘what happens’ can get pretty bad.  Anyway, after locking the car the rage continued and she started beating my car – leaving dents in it.  This is TOO MUCH, I kept thinking.  Why, why, why does this have to be so difficult?!?  The other two have not been nearly as challenging.  Why does she have to be so hard??? 

Then, she took the hard plastic compass that was in her pocket, stared at me, and drove it right into the door.  Even in the dark, I could see the damage. 

How much do I love my daughter?  I know what she needs.  I need to establish with her that I will love her no matter what.  Sadly, she has not believed that.  I can tell from her hurt, and the things that she says.  Regardless of what I know I do as a father, I can tell she doubts my love for her, and she reacts on that anger.  This damage and outburst was the BIG test.

How much do I love my daughter?  Do I love her more than my car?  Is her belief in my love for worth the cost of having my car damaged??? 

Then it hit me.

My car will not last forever — my daughter’s soul will.

In Luke 15, why did the younger prodigal son return to his father?  Because he firmly believed in his father’s love.  The father endured insult and pain in order to love his son.  In the end, it paid off.  What was I willing to do to show my love for her??? 

Jesus gave up and endured more than we can imagine so we could see love (1 John 4:10).  Jesus’ great love and sacrifice has led to the reunion of God with many of his children.  What was I willing to give so my daughter could have the evidence she needs that I love her???

I just stood there.  I did not say I love you, for fear of her thinking that I was being sarcastic or patronizing.  I did not ask her if she was ready to go.  I stood there quietly, fighting back tears, asking my Heavenly Father to help me love her.

Then……….she abruptly stopped, and burst into tears.  I walked up to her and she buried her head into me.  I opened the car, took off her muddy socks, and cleaned her feet with a wet wipe.  After giving her something to drink, we continued our journey.  I did not ask her if she was sorry, or bring up what she did again.  I do not plan on bringing it up.  She knows what happened.

I would love to say the rest of the trip was a magical, easy fairy tale.  It was not.  HOWEVER, it did not take her nearly as long to get herself under control the next few times she got in her moods. 

There is so much more that happened that I could share, and maybe another time I will.  I had to do some hard, hard soul-searching the last week regarding what I am willing to endure, to ‘put up with’, for the sake of my daughter.  Is her long term well-being worth the expense of my car?  Is she worth the TV if it happens to get broken?  What about a hole in the wall?  How far am I willing to go to reinforce how much I love her?

I am still working on that part.  But, I want to love her the way that she needs.

By the way, Tabbetha brought the kids by the building today and that particular daughter asked if she could have lunch with me.

She wanted to have lunch with me???

How far am I willing to go to love my daughter?  It is my prayer that I will love her as much as she needs, no matter the cost.  Even if I do not have immediate payoffs, I pray that my loving her the way that meets her special needs will bless her in the long run.  I pray it is what she needs so she will believe that I do love her no matter what.  May God grant me the wisdom, patience, and love my daughter needs.

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What Gives You Comfort and Hope?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on March 5, 2010 by James Jones

What makes you feel better during hard times?  Is it the hope that things will eventually improve within a set period of time?  Does the hope of restoring what you have lost help you feel comforted?  When someone loses a job, one of the common things said to bring solace is: ‘You will find more work somewhere else.’  When an individual loses a competition, it is often said ‘There is always next time’ to help keep their spirits up.

            But, what if there was no hope of any of the material losses of this life ever being restored?  What if there was not another job for the man who has become unemployed?  What if there were no more competitions to enter to try to win?  What if there were no more chances to have another child after a couple lost their only one?  What if there were no more treatments available for the cancer patient?  Would we still have a message of comfort and hope to offer? 

            Daniel found himself in a time of great loss.  His homeland was destroyed.  His chance of ever becoming a father was taken away from him.  He would never marry, and his name was changed to honor a god other than the Lord Almighty.  He would not enjoy family reunions, and leisurely evenings in Jerusalem the way he once did.  All the motivational feel-good messages one could have offered were stripped of their power because they would not be based on reality – at least in Daniel’s circumstances.  Yet, he still had the confidence in God to remain loyal and true (Daniel 1:8).  Daniel was exalted to great positions of influence in an unholy land because of God’s care (Daniel 2).  Even in his senior years, Daniel had the courage to keep worshipping God though he never enjoyed what we call “The American dream” (Daniel 6).

            What did Daniel still have that could motivate him to keep going despite such tremendous loss and heartache?  Daniel still walked with the Lord!  The Lord cares for His people, but He does not always provide the same things.  Job had things restored doubly.  Joseph enjoyed a great family reunion.  Yet, Daniel did not have the same end in his story.  Even though his life was different than Job’s and Joseph’s, Daniel still found joy in the Lord.

            Some of our deepest longings are: to have a family; have a good, secure job in order to pay the bills;  to succeed in things for which we have worked diligently; to be able to care and protect our families; and to live a long, healthy life.  These are very noble desires and dreams.  But, they do not always come true for everyone.  For all of us, there should be a longing deeper than all of these: the desire to walk with the Lord.  We can lose all the rest, and still be able to walk with the Heavenly Father.  David wrote, “Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8a, NIV).”  Having the Lord is what brought Daniel comfort and hope.  Even though he lost much, he never lost His relationship with God.  When times are good or bad, what brings you joy, comfort, and hope?  I pray that in all you enjoy, treasure, and prize, you value walking with the Lord the most.  Having God with us is the blessing that trumps all others (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

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Help For Our Neighbors in Haiti

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 13, 2010 by James Jones

 

Here is a link of organizations accepting donations to help with relief work in Haiti:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34835478/ns/world_news-haiti_earthquake/

Thousands of lives are feared lost in this already poverty-stricken nation.  Many souls will never be the same again.  Please pray for the victims.  Also, please pray for the hearts and hands with the abilities to give. 

According to Unicef, only 46% had access to clean water before the earthquake.

Last night, many were sleeping on the streets in the rain.

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I’m Not Abraham

Posted in Uncategorized on January 11, 2010 by James Jones

 

            I am in awe of the faith of Noah, Abraham, and Moses.  I know that they were not sinless men, but they demonstrated an outstanding life of faith.  We cannot read Hebrews 11 without being made aware of their extraordinary lives serving God.

            When my obituary is read, I doubt anyone will read of me building an ark to save my family from a worldwide flood.  As a matter of fact, I am sure you will not read of another world-wide flood (Gen 9:11).    I am positive you will not read that I fathered a child when I was 99 years old due to faith in God’s plan.  It is also a safe bet that I will not lead God’s people through a parted Red sea. 

            But, I want a faith that matters.  I want a faith that is as precious in the eyes of my Lord as the faith of Noah, Abraham, and Moses.  I want a faith that will be rewarded by my Lord on the Judgment Day (Heb 11:6).  Is it possible that I can ever have a faith so powerful that it does not escape the attention of my Lord?

            The apostle Peter wrote as if we can possess that kind of faith.  When he wrote his second inspired epistle, he noted that his audience had “a faith of equal standing with ours” (2 Pet 1:1, ESV).  Peter believed their faith was going to appear just as precious as his in the eyes of the Lord.  No matter how short or long they had been a Christian did not make a difference.  What mattered was their faith in the saving work of Jesus Christ (John 3:16; Rom 10:9-10; Mark 16:15-16; Gal 3:26-27). 

            I need to remember that my faith matters to God even though I am not Noah, Abraham, or Moses.  My faith matters to God even though I may not ever perform the same works of such magnitude as these great men of faith.   Peter makes it evident that my faith will be of equal standing as theirs is before God.  I may not have the same resume as Abraham on the Judgment Day, but it will be okay with me as long as I have the faith.

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You Cannot Take Away Jesus (so, go ahead and rob me)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on January 7, 2010 by James Jones

         

I remember seeing a lot of very angry people on television at the tea parties.  As I listened to people interviewed, several expressed their outrage that the money they have spent years working so hard for could be easily taken (taxed) away by the government so easily.  As I listened to the criticisms, I also saw the Hitler pictures on protest signs, as well as the Nazi swastika on others.  Many were hurt that the fruit of their sweat and tears could be taxed away so easily.  I can appreciate that sentiment. 

          Thankfully, Christians have greater riches than anything that can be taxed.  Christians have something better so they do not have to be consumed with anger and outrage.  Notice the Christians’ attitudes in the first century when their belongings were plundered simply because they were Christians: “Recall the former days when you were enlightened…you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one.  Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward (Heb 10:32, 34-35, ESV).”  They were robbed by their enemies because they were Christians.  Yet, the Hebrews writer said they joyfully accepted it.  How on earth could they feel that way?  Did they not work hard for what their homes and clothes?  Did they not have stolen the things they could have used to help the poor, hungry, and destitute?  How could they joyfully accept it?

          Anger and outrage did not fill their spirits because they still had Jesus.  No matter what anyone takes, they can never take away Jesus!  When we have Jesus, He can work things out in ways better than we can imagine – if we trust Him.  That is why Paul warned the Christians “do not throw away your confidence (v35).”  This is why Paul told Timothy to warn the rich in this world “not to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.  They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share (1 Tim 6:17-18).” 

          God knows what we can do with our money.  Without God, we would never have the ability to earn it.  God also knows His power, and How He can work things out for His glory (Rom 8:28).  In warning the rich not to trust their riches, Paul instructed them to be generous and ready to share.  Someone might say that to be able to do that, we need money.  Therefore, we need to fight for it.  If you ever hear someone say that, have them consider who Jesus named as the treasurer of the finances during His ministry.  John revealed that Judas “helped himself to what was put into it (John 12:6).”  If anyone knew that the money Judas was stealing could be used to help the poor, it was Jesus.  Yet, Jesus knew he had a greater source of help than the money bag.

          This world will be gone in a blink of an eye one day.  This will be done by the power of God.  The Lord has given us a work to do.  He does not want us distracted with keeping what we have.  We work so we can give (Eph 4:28).  The Lord has promised to give us all we need for His work (Phil 4:19).  Jesus is our confidence.  If Jesus is our life (Col 3:4), He will never be taken away.  Then, we can joyfully accept whatever the enemy brings our way.

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Sleepless In Seattle is a Horror Movie

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2009 by James Jones

Finally, someone has seen the light and has produced the best trailer ever for Sleepless in Seattle.  Enjoy!

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Another AWESOME Tweet (and site) to follow

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 29, 2009 by James Jones

If you have Twitter, I recommend following     @hardlynormal

Check out http://hardlynormal.com/blog

www.inviviblepeople.tv

I promise, the sites are raw and honest.  We never want our abundance to become walls to blind us from the needs placed before our door (Luke 16:19-31).  I think one of the best ways to help make us more aware of these things, and how to help, is to follow tweets like @hardlynormal and to read his blogs. 

 As a Christian, they really help me.  I struggle with being blind, and neglecting what I can do.  I fight this disease, and I praise God for resources like this that help me see.

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What I Want for Christmas…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 28, 2009 by James Jones

Tabbetha tells me I am difficult to shop for at Christmastime.  She is not into comic books like I am, so she does not know what I have, do not have, and what trades I would actually like to have.  Also, I am picky about my music and movies.  There are a lot of movies I think are great – but only for a one time view.  I do not want the waste of space for the DVD for a one time delight.  When it comes to music, my taste for a particular song does not translate into liking the music of the artist.  So, purchasing an entire album may be nothing more than a waste of money and time.  Pretty much, she can bank on coffee beans and coffee mugs.  However, making a big move to Texas is not the best time to add to my mug collection.

 

One thing I have begged her to do is make a donation to www.worldvisiongifts.org

 

If she does that remains to be seen.  Poor Tabbetha, she had to marry some oddball man.

 

I have heard people talk about ‘nutty, hippie’ relatives that suggest these kinds of corny gift ideas.   For some reason, a piece of paper informing a loved one that someone was helped in their name is not that satisfying at the holidays – even if it is wrapped with a nice bow!

 

Is the gift giving always about the other person, or is it partially about pride?  Can we be so afraid of what others might think that we buy ‘impressive’ gifts to avoid talk behind out back?  I mean, how many of us want to be known as the relative that nobody wants drawing their name for a gift exchange?  I can understand and appreciate that.  I would be hurt by that kind of talk.

 

But, I am thrilled by the life money can provide as opposed as a present that may collect dust until the next big yard sale.

 

I do not want to come off holier than thou or some kind of saint.  I am materialistic.  I love my Directv and TiVo, iphone, laptop, coffee, and comics.  I am sure there are a lot of things that could be bought that would consume more of my time in enjoyment.  However, knowing what money can provide for entire families through a reputable organization…………….well, I really, really want them to have it. 

 

If you are looking to give gifts that are a little different, please check out www.worldvisiongifts.org

 

You may be amazed by what how much your money can actually do for others.  Make sure to check out the great links they have on the left side of the page.

 

Also, www.thehondurasproject.org is another great site featuring a work doing a lot of good.

 

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